Want to do something good?

The sporadic blogger is back, but just to write about one of my dearest friend's newest endeavors.  Dharma has been one of my dearest friends since college.  We met in one of our Asian American studies classes, participated in the same student leadership groups, and comprised 2/3 of the first students to graduate with the then-newly established Asian American Studies certificate from UMD.  Since then she has been confidant, a wonderful aunt to my kiddies, and sister.  Dharms continues to help mentor, counsel, and raise young student leaders to this day, many of whom are excelling in the fields of social justice in non-profit orgs, private sector, and the government.  Now she is directing some of her endless energy and humanitarianism towards human trafficking.  I am totally and completely way late in posting about this...but better late than never.

Dharma and her friend Pareesha were inspired by another fellow Terp alum to travel to Mysore, India to volunteer for an organization called Odanadi.  They have been fundraising since October, prior to their upcoming trip this December to Mysore.  They have raised 81% (as of today) towards their goal of $5,000.  (You can find the breakdown of how the donations will be utilized here.)

Need a good cause to support this holiday season?  Check out Dharma & Pareesha's blog and consider contributing to their efforts in fighting human trafficking.  They're accepting donations thru December 8!

Thank you!

Good luck, Special Friend and thank you for making this world a better place for all!

Congratulations!

It's been a while and still might be a while until I blog again...just having the busiest summer to date and enjoying every minute of it.  But, I just wanted to send a huge congratulations to Daphne Kwok who was recently appointed by President Obama to be the chair of his advisory committee on Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders.  You can read more about it here and here.

There really couldn't be a more stellar pick than Daphne.  I had the good fortune of knowing here from my days working in DC.  It was with her (and her deputy director at the time, Emmy Akiyama) that I was in the car en route to NYC to do some exit polling when tragedy struck the city and nation on 9/11.  Daphne is just ridiculously awesome and amazing...and humble.  Her parents are pretty kick-butt too raising this awesome woman.  I was pregos with Kaia when her dad told me that having daughters first is the way to go since they'll be your biggest help and blessing, as Daphne was.  I couldn't agree more with Mr. Kwok.  I know their daughter's recent achievement is just another in a long line of achievements to be proud of.

Congratulations, Daphne!  I know Obama's in great hands with you as his chair!

Dear Zachary

If you're looking for a good movie to rent/buy and/or you really want to see a movie that boils your blood/makes you bawl your eyes out/stirs your sense of activism, look no further:

"Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son about his Father"

More information can be found at the site: www.dearzachary.com

This documentary was just beautifully made and the love & passion that went into it was unbelievable. I was crying like crazy and The Hubs was getting seriously pissed off during some of the parts (at the movie not at me...just to clarify). It's heavy, but it is definitely a must see.

Kudos to the filmmaker Kurt Kuenne on his labor of love to honor his friend and his friend's parents.  But, the even bigger kudos go to the parents Kate & David Bagby (David is a former sailor) whose outstanding parenting raised a man much beloved and whose tireless efforts for social justice and social justice reform has turned such horrific tragedies into triumphs.

Really, there are no words for this movie other than to go see it.

For Netflix subscribers, you can also view it at home sans DVD.

Scary

It's gorgeous outside and the rain has finally stopped...but the day is off to a scary start...

First, I read Blunoz's post about the despicable Westboro Baptist Church...the loonies who condemn the LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, & queer/questioning) community and protest funerals of fallen military.  First off, we won't get started on the protests of the LGBTQ community...that would take me too long to rant about (ahhhhh, I miss my old activist days).  Second...picketing funerals?  Really?  I'm not sure how a "church" can justify doing these abhorrent things during the most painful times in peoples' lives.  I can't even begin to imagine what those families/loved ones feel when seeing these a-holes.

Second, I get an email from Melis about a post from Cop Mama about your personal information splattered on the web on Spokeo.  I've always been diligent about Googling myself and my fam...but this site was strange since it listed your family members, HOBBIES, etc.  Apparently, should be in the CIA since my identity has managed to go undetected for all these years in all the states I've lived in.  My mom, sister, brother (in-law), hubs, & late father are all listed on the site.

But, thanks to that site, I've found out that I've added another layer to my diversity work.  Although I have always championed for equality across various communities, I'm apparently a biracial woman (half white & half African-American) whose main focus is on the Asian American community.

I've been living a lie my entire life...

Ignition Breathalyzer Legislation

I popped over to Blunoz' blog and basically left my own blog post as a "comment" on his post on breathalyzers.  Basically, VA & MD want to pass legislation where it will be mandatory to install breathalyzers in the cars of first time convicted DUI offenders (catch it here in the Washington Post).  The breathalyzers would serve as an ignition interlock devices and hopefully lower the already high recidivism rates (yay, my college degree isn't going unused...hahaha...go figure #1 criminology & criminal justice program in the country and I do squuuuuuuat with it).  I digress...

I've written about my dad and his struggles.  This man influenced my life in so many ways.  My outspokenness, activism, passion for social justice & education, and empathy are traits that are definitely are from him.  Pride as an American, an Asian American (no hyphen biotches), and as a woman of color...definitely from him.  I see these traits coming out in his grandchildren as well.  Obviously, the lack of drinking was indirectly influenced by him.  He was a really good man with a very strong moral character just with an unfortunate "disease" (I put it in quotes since  I believe there's just this huge gray area of it be biological and what not).

Reunited...

How could watching the coverage of this NOT bring a tear to your eye? Hearing the moments leading up to the meeting with N. Korean leaders and Bill Clinton emotionally described by Laura Ling got me so teary-eyed...then coupled with watching Euna Lee holding her 4-year old daughter after a 4-month separation...so awesome.

Definitely the military spouse in me can empathize on some level with Euna Lee reuniting with her spouse and daughter after almost 1/3 a year. BUT...I cannot fully empathize since these two journalists were almost sent to hard labor camps for 12 years!!! I cannot imagine living everyday not knowing when you'd be sent to these camps and for Euna not to be able to see her daughter until she was a teenager.

This is just a great time. I'm so glad it turned out like fellow journalist Roxana Saberi's outcome. Congratulations to the families and great job to all parties involved in securing the release of these women!

Say What?

I just read a post from the blog French Kiss about being bi/multi-lingual...it got me thinking....

It's always been a bit frustrating not being able to speak to both sets of grandparents. I am 3rd-generation Chinese American (generation status explained below). Although that status is a little weird since my paternal great-grandparents are buried here and my mom is 1.5 generation Asian American. Anyhoo...back to the bi/multilingual thing...

My paternal grandmother used to babysit us all the time while our parents were at work. We picked up some Toishan (pronouced "toy-san", a dialect of Chinese and more exact, a sub-dialect of Cantonese)...but our conversations usually were a mix of Toishan and English...usually our end being all English. My grandmother was pretty funny since she always claimed to not know any English, yet would get herself all around DC on public transportation and would always be the first one to laugh at any jokes (told in English) at the family table. What a turkey.

My maternal grandparents also speak a sub-dialect of Cantonese called Jungsan. BUT...just to make it confusing...my grandfather immigrated to Central America as a teenager and my mom (eldest of 9) lived in Honduras till high school...making my mom's side of the family trilingual...Spanish, Chinese, and English. Actually, my grandparents also know straight Hong Kong Cantonese...so, quadrilingual? The whole fam (well, when speaking to my grandparents) hold conversations that are a mix of Spanish, Chinese, and English...and no, not separate sentences...I mean those three languages are included in every single sentence. But, my mom is still more fluent in English and Spanish.

And the other thing...my parents met at Georgetown while both were majoring in linguistics...Mandarin (Chinese) to be exact. Yeaaaaaaaah. Then my paternal grandmother makes my mom learn Toishan.

Sooooo...for the count:

*Daddy-O: English, Toishan, & Mandarin
*Mama Dukes: English, Spanish, Jungsan, Toishan, & Mandarin
*The Lee Girls: English...and a little Spanish and a little hodge-podge of Toishan, Jungsan, and Cantonese...and by hodge-podge, I mean like 5-10 words of each dialect.
*My kids...English and the 5-10 words of each Chinese dialect I can pass down to them....oops, I did forget that we are teaching them Spanish.

Sad.

Oooh...which leads me to a teaching lesson...ahhhhhhhh, back to the old days.

Generation Status: pretty easy...start with the first generation of immigrants and they are the 1st generation ____ Americans. It gets a bit tricky when the kids immigrate with the parents...they are then considered the "1.5 generation"....like my mama.

Nationality: Oooh...my favorite. Where your citizenship belongs to is what determines your nationality. So, when I get the funny looks in response of my answer of "American"...I mean, American. Which leads to "Where are you REALLY from?" To which I answer DC or MD. Which then usually leads to "No, where are your parents from?" Can you tell I'm a pro at this and hear this a LOT? I usually answer for my dad's birthplace (Washington, D.C.) since my mom's (Honduras) is really going to lead to a long conversation in which I usually don't have to time (or at that point, the patience) to explain. Which always leads me to my next question for them "Oh, you mean my ETHNICITY?"...to which I usually receive a confused look of "Uhhh, ok...sure?" Another case of perpetual foreigner.

Ethnicity: Where you can trace your peeps to...in my case China...thus making my ethnicity Chinese. My hubby's is Chinese & Filipino. My kids...1/4 Filipino and 3/4 Chinese.

Race: Social construct of the grouping of people based on physical characteristics. Historically, race (being a social construct) was/is used to discriminate against specific groups of people through legislation.

Perpetual Foreigner: A stereotype of Asian Americans of seeing them as the exotic other and never being fully capable of acculterating into mainstream society. i.e. the question mentioned above in nationality "No, where are you really from?" Another example, when someone asks my race/ethnicity/nationality and I ask him/her the same...he/she is usually pretty surprised I have asked him/her.

Since I'm still going on this...

Sex: Male or Female...whatever chromosomes you were born with...XY or XX...except in special cases.

Gender: Man or Woman...another social construct of masculinity and feminity.

And with that...Sean's standing duty and it's time for my weekly shower.

Did I just say weekly?

I may be exaggerating...or am I? ;o) Mu-hahahahaha.

How could you, Miley?

Dear Miley,

You suck. Yeah, I said it. Yup...I'm a 30-something year old mother of two and I'm resorting to juvenile words like "YOU SUCK".

We were fans of your show...yeah, I said "we". I thought you were cute and funny and had a lot of fun watching you with my daughter, who's 5 and thinks you were pretty funny. She also LOVED rocking out to your music.

But, you had to go and blow it by following the numbskull trend of posing for this photo. Didn't you pay attention to the European idiots (here, here, here, and here) in this summer's Olympics who thought it was fun to pose for photos with "chinky eyes"? Obviously, you don't have kids and were never a kid who witnessed or was a victim of other kids making slanted-eye faces at you and saying "ching-chong" words to you. How do you explain to your 3 & 5 year olds that sometimes people/kids might make fun of you because of your ethnicity/race? How do you explain to them why, even though they have been raised to accept differences in people, that they could be taunted for being "not white"?

What was initially bad was your poor taste in judgement and part of the public's support of it being "not a big deal". Didn't you realize that you were going to condone this behavior in your young fans and that other kids would bear the pain of these actions? Not only that, but it was your half-assed NON-apology that irked me. Seriously? WTF?!?! Now you just SERIOUSLY condoned this asinine behavior. Good job!

My daughter first misunderstood what I had relayed to her about the photo and thought you were making fun of African-Americans...but we know you or others wouldn't do that because you know that would be some MAJOR backlash if you did that. Nope...let's pick on the "silent minority", the "passive model minorities" who wouldn't make a fuss if you do racist shiet against them. Is that "not a big deal" to be non-Asian American and make fun of Asian Americans because you can't be touched? Kaia was pretty incensed and wanted to boycott you because she thought you were making fun of African Americans...but was pretty hurt to find out you were making fun of her race. Again, kudos to you and your good judgement.

The thing is, you're 16 years old. I don't expect much out of you. I don't expect much out of a lot of adults who have no concept of what diversity truly is, outside structural diversity. I expected a lot of people to say "it's not such a big deal" and to "suck it up" and that those "complaining" have "no sense of humor"...obviously these are people who haven't, at some point in their life, been picked on for their race/ethnicity or who don't have children who have been picked on. Lord knows I have a sense of humor about a lot of things...but picking on underrepresented communities and thelling them to "lighten up" when they get upset...that really irks me. I'd say, get educated on social justice issues and then get back to me.

My parents raised me to be a woman respectful of differences...so I'm not one of those "color-blind" people...because I do see color and I see other differences (as well as being aware of differences/disabilities that one cannot see but are there)...and I respect them. I respect that people have struggled and still are struggling to maintain a sense of normalcy when sometimes that normalcy means you have to hide or shed parts of your identity, like your ethnicity/race.

I'm sure these words are familiar to you, and I hope they are since they are Obama's words from his inaugural address:

"For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace. "

You can say it was harmless and others can say to "get over it", but for some, prejudice/racism/bigotry/hatred is a very real notion. Yes, our country is a melting pot of cultures...but until there is a mutual respect for each community (be it race, ethnicity, sex, gender, religion, sexual orientation, etc.), we can't even begin to learn what tolerance is.

Check out Angry Asian Man and see what people who are social justice activists are saying. We don't hate you...but damn are we disappointed in you and the public who think this is not a big deal. Cycle of Oppression, anyone? Look it up if you don't know what I'm talking about.

I know you've apologized again, but I really question if you sincerely know that this is pretty serious. Nevermind that you're young...but you're surrounded by adults who should know better and should be giving you better counsel. I hope this is a small lesson to you that will have some kind of impact in your life.

As a mom of two young Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus fans, a former college activist, a former Director of Programs at the national headquarters of the very organization that has brought some nat'l attention to this issue (OCA), a spouse of a submariner (a Navy community where stupid things like this are also blown off and people are told to have a sense of humor), and a person of color who is all about social justice education...I hope you pause to think about the implications of the "goofing around", your horrible initial apology, and how your role as a tween pop-star icon actually owes some kind of responsibility to your young fans to behave in a way that is morally sound.

Good luck,

TML

Wow

So, I found out that Kaia's school wouldn't be watching the inauguration during class...there's a "no t.v." policy that they abide by. I know that's a good thing, but watching history unfold warranted keeping my baby home. Kaia's already becoming social-justice minded...and there was so much to explain. Even though we've talked about lots of stuff in the past about discrimination, equality, and other social justice issues...it was awesome to share such an amazing moment in history. Yeah, I cried...couldn't help it. But yeah, it gets a bit tough to explain social justice stuff to preschoolers (and now a KINDERGARTENER) and you don't want to paint the world as some awful place, but you also want to explain the importance of treating everyone fairly and that includes learning lessons from past mistakes.

To explain to her the symbolism of Obama's inauguration, the history of the fight to bring the US to this point (and the struggle is still ongoing...just like Obama said, hopefully one day old hatreds will die), and tying in the significance of MLK Jr. with yesterday's historical moment. I am so optimistic about our future right now. From his election to the inaugural address to the inauguration celebrations...this has been awesome.

We watched Disney's Kids' Inaugural the night prior where the audience was comprised of military personnel and their families. Everyone was quick to say that the military personnel AND their fams were the real American heroes. I agree with that and that there are so many other American heroes that don't even put on uniforms but still fight to make life better for the people of the United States. But yeah, it was nice to tell our kids that they are appreciated for their sacrifice too...that they have to sacrifice not having their dad home...esp. the for all the winter holidays of 2006 AND 2007. My kids are so strong and still don't know it. Also, we watched the Neighborhood Ball too...can you name the last president that had the diversity of performers that the Neighborhood Ball had last night.

Anyway...kudos to the forefathers/mothers in the civil rights movements and to my friends who continue to fight in the struggle for equality for everyone.