Say What?

I just read a post from the blog French Kiss about being bi/multi-lingual...it got me thinking....

It's always been a bit frustrating not being able to speak to both sets of grandparents. I am 3rd-generation Chinese American (generation status explained below). Although that status is a little weird since my paternal great-grandparents are buried here and my mom is 1.5 generation Asian American. Anyhoo...back to the bi/multilingual thing...

My paternal grandmother used to babysit us all the time while our parents were at work. We picked up some Toishan (pronouced "toy-san", a dialect of Chinese and more exact, a sub-dialect of Cantonese)...but our conversations usually were a mix of Toishan and English...usually our end being all English. My grandmother was pretty funny since she always claimed to not know any English, yet would get herself all around DC on public transportation and would always be the first one to laugh at any jokes (told in English) at the family table. What a turkey.

My maternal grandparents also speak a sub-dialect of Cantonese called Jungsan. BUT...just to make it confusing...my grandfather immigrated to Central America as a teenager and my mom (eldest of 9) lived in Honduras till high school...making my mom's side of the family trilingual...Spanish, Chinese, and English. Actually, my grandparents also know straight Hong Kong Cantonese...so, quadrilingual? The whole fam (well, when speaking to my grandparents) hold conversations that are a mix of Spanish, Chinese, and English...and no, not separate sentences...I mean those three languages are included in every single sentence. But, my mom is still more fluent in English and Spanish.

And the other thing...my parents met at Georgetown while both were majoring in linguistics...Mandarin (Chinese) to be exact. Yeaaaaaaaah. Then my paternal grandmother makes my mom learn Toishan.

Sooooo...for the count:

*Daddy-O: English, Toishan, & Mandarin
*Mama Dukes: English, Spanish, Jungsan, Toishan, & Mandarin
*The Lee Girls: English...and a little Spanish and a little hodge-podge of Toishan, Jungsan, and Cantonese...and by hodge-podge, I mean like 5-10 words of each dialect.
*My kids...English and the 5-10 words of each Chinese dialect I can pass down to them....oops, I did forget that we are teaching them Spanish.

Sad.

Oooh...which leads me to a teaching lesson...ahhhhhhhh, back to the old days.

Generation Status: pretty easy...start with the first generation of immigrants and they are the 1st generation ____ Americans. It gets a bit tricky when the kids immigrate with the parents...they are then considered the "1.5 generation"....like my mama.

Nationality: Oooh...my favorite. Where your citizenship belongs to is what determines your nationality. So, when I get the funny looks in response of my answer of "American"...I mean, American. Which leads to "Where are you REALLY from?" To which I answer DC or MD. Which then usually leads to "No, where are your parents from?" Can you tell I'm a pro at this and hear this a LOT? I usually answer for my dad's birthplace (Washington, D.C.) since my mom's (Honduras) is really going to lead to a long conversation in which I usually don't have to time (or at that point, the patience) to explain. Which always leads me to my next question for them "Oh, you mean my ETHNICITY?"...to which I usually receive a confused look of "Uhhh, ok...sure?" Another case of perpetual foreigner.

Ethnicity: Where you can trace your peeps to...in my case China...thus making my ethnicity Chinese. My hubby's is Chinese & Filipino. My kids...1/4 Filipino and 3/4 Chinese.

Race: Social construct of the grouping of people based on physical characteristics. Historically, race (being a social construct) was/is used to discriminate against specific groups of people through legislation.

Perpetual Foreigner: A stereotype of Asian Americans of seeing them as the exotic other and never being fully capable of acculterating into mainstream society. i.e. the question mentioned above in nationality "No, where are you really from?" Another example, when someone asks my race/ethnicity/nationality and I ask him/her the same...he/she is usually pretty surprised I have asked him/her.

Since I'm still going on this...

Sex: Male or Female...whatever chromosomes you were born with...XY or XX...except in special cases.

Gender: Man or Woman...another social construct of masculinity and feminity.

And with that...Sean's standing duty and it's time for my weekly shower.

Did I just say weekly?

I may be exaggerating...or am I? ;o) Mu-hahahahaha.

A Decade

Here's to 10 years since our first kiss in the Mid Store parking lot of the USNA where Mr. Shy Guy decided to plant one on me in front of our two friends. NICE. He's just lucky that he didn't get dissed since that would have been pretty darn awkward!

I LOVE YOU, Bear! You make everyday so amazing!

Germs, Viruses, Bacteria...Oh MY!

So, since January the total count of infections have been 3 colds and a stomach virus (a nasty one that was luckily short-lived but managed to incapacitate almost the entire wardroom).

Daddy's leaving to escort another boat leaving the shipyard and it comes at a good time...SIKE! I'm trying to get ready for my sister's shower in DC this weekend and just praying that we'll know definitively his schedule so that I can plan on traveling with or without him. I'm not going to lie and say that it's harder to get myself, the kids, and the big dogs ready for traveling...because it's actually easier. I don't know if it's a military spouse/single parent thing or what...but when you have to depend on yourself to do things, they get done quicker. HAHAHAHA. Then again, Mr. Muscles is definitely some much appreciated brawn and eye candy. Tee hee hee.

Anyhoo...regardless, this week is all about shopping, prepping, and baking for my neice's impending arrival and even with this amount of work...I couldn't be happier. Plus, I got my two turkeys to keep me on my toes and wit's end...oops, I mean...;o)

How could you, Miley?

Dear Miley,

You suck. Yeah, I said it. Yup...I'm a 30-something year old mother of two and I'm resorting to juvenile words like "YOU SUCK".

We were fans of your show...yeah, I said "we". I thought you were cute and funny and had a lot of fun watching you with my daughter, who's 5 and thinks you were pretty funny. She also LOVED rocking out to your music.

But, you had to go and blow it by following the numbskull trend of posing for this photo. Didn't you pay attention to the European idiots (here, here, here, and here) in this summer's Olympics who thought it was fun to pose for photos with "chinky eyes"? Obviously, you don't have kids and were never a kid who witnessed or was a victim of other kids making slanted-eye faces at you and saying "ching-chong" words to you. How do you explain to your 3 & 5 year olds that sometimes people/kids might make fun of you because of your ethnicity/race? How do you explain to them why, even though they have been raised to accept differences in people, that they could be taunted for being "not white"?

What was initially bad was your poor taste in judgement and part of the public's support of it being "not a big deal". Didn't you realize that you were going to condone this behavior in your young fans and that other kids would bear the pain of these actions? Not only that, but it was your half-assed NON-apology that irked me. Seriously? WTF?!?! Now you just SERIOUSLY condoned this asinine behavior. Good job!

My daughter first misunderstood what I had relayed to her about the photo and thought you were making fun of African-Americans...but we know you or others wouldn't do that because you know that would be some MAJOR backlash if you did that. Nope...let's pick on the "silent minority", the "passive model minorities" who wouldn't make a fuss if you do racist shiet against them. Is that "not a big deal" to be non-Asian American and make fun of Asian Americans because you can't be touched? Kaia was pretty incensed and wanted to boycott you because she thought you were making fun of African Americans...but was pretty hurt to find out you were making fun of her race. Again, kudos to you and your good judgement.

The thing is, you're 16 years old. I don't expect much out of you. I don't expect much out of a lot of adults who have no concept of what diversity truly is, outside structural diversity. I expected a lot of people to say "it's not such a big deal" and to "suck it up" and that those "complaining" have "no sense of humor"...obviously these are people who haven't, at some point in their life, been picked on for their race/ethnicity or who don't have children who have been picked on. Lord knows I have a sense of humor about a lot of things...but picking on underrepresented communities and thelling them to "lighten up" when they get upset...that really irks me. I'd say, get educated on social justice issues and then get back to me.

My parents raised me to be a woman respectful of differences...so I'm not one of those "color-blind" people...because I do see color and I see other differences (as well as being aware of differences/disabilities that one cannot see but are there)...and I respect them. I respect that people have struggled and still are struggling to maintain a sense of normalcy when sometimes that normalcy means you have to hide or shed parts of your identity, like your ethnicity/race.

I'm sure these words are familiar to you, and I hope they are since they are Obama's words from his inaugural address:

"For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace. "

You can say it was harmless and others can say to "get over it", but for some, prejudice/racism/bigotry/hatred is a very real notion. Yes, our country is a melting pot of cultures...but until there is a mutual respect for each community (be it race, ethnicity, sex, gender, religion, sexual orientation, etc.), we can't even begin to learn what tolerance is.

Check out Angry Asian Man and see what people who are social justice activists are saying. We don't hate you...but damn are we disappointed in you and the public who think this is not a big deal. Cycle of Oppression, anyone? Look it up if you don't know what I'm talking about.

I know you've apologized again, but I really question if you sincerely know that this is pretty serious. Nevermind that you're young...but you're surrounded by adults who should know better and should be giving you better counsel. I hope this is a small lesson to you that will have some kind of impact in your life.

As a mom of two young Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus fans, a former college activist, a former Director of Programs at the national headquarters of the very organization that has brought some nat'l attention to this issue (OCA), a spouse of a submariner (a Navy community where stupid things like this are also blown off and people are told to have a sense of humor), and a person of color who is all about social justice education...I hope you pause to think about the implications of the "goofing around", your horrible initial apology, and how your role as a tween pop-star icon actually owes some kind of responsibility to your young fans to behave in a way that is morally sound.

Good luck,

TML

Anonymous

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