Gas

I really should update about how life in VA is, how our new former current residence is doing, about anything else except this: Remi has bad gas.

From I'm not sure what I want to be when I grow up...

Now Remi is my first dog, my first baby, my kids' first dog, and an olllllllllllllld girl. She turned 8 this past summer. We got Remi just before her 2nd birthday in 2002. Sean and I had just gotten married at the beginning of the year, Sean went on a 6-month deployment right after our honeymoon, I quit my job at the end of deployment and moved down to Norfolk, VA. I hated being away from my fam & friendmilies. Sean was always on the sub pulling long arse hours and I HATE being by myself. Not, that I get lonely...but SCARED of people breaking in, stranger danger, rape, etc. Yup...I'm one of those people who would've been a good FBI/law enforcement person since I can always think of good scenarios. ;o) Anyhoo...so, Sean suggested we get a dog! YAY! I had always wanted one and the closest I got to one was a hamster. So, we adopted the gentlest, quietest, SCAREDEST dog at the MoCo. shelter...having our qualifications: Sean wanted a pit bull (I was DEAD SET AGAINST THEM) and I wanted a nice dog. Lo & behold...Remi enters our lives. She has definitely changed my perception of pits and many others. She is definitely one of the sweetest dogs ever. But, it's only her scary looks that'll scare people away...she's too sweet to be mean...EVER. That is why we have Jax who is protection-trained. =)

Thanks to Michael Vick, pits are getting a second look & chance...

Back to her problemo...which is currently MY PROBLEMO. Her gas. It's off-the-charts ridiculous and it is NOT the type of flatulence that naturally disappears after a while. No, it is this awful, rotten, sulphuric smelling stuff that leaves a noxious cloud in the area she was so kind to leave it in. Case in point...girl walked up the stairs and broke wind all the way up. She was coming up to be near me...because I am the Dog Whisperer of the home...my dogs follow me...CONSTANTLY...we're talking I can have both kids & dogs in the bathroom with me...I am never ALONE! Anyhoo...Jaron wants me to help him with a tangram and I meet him halfway on the stairs. As I descend the first two stairs, I notice a curious odor. As I continue down a few more stairs, the odor gets stronger. Jaron doesn't seem to notice the foul stench that is permeating the atmosphere around the stairs. After a minute on the stairs, I move my son out of harm's way since the gas is going NOWHERE. Back upstairs where I was working on the computer, Remi is basking in the sun...letting stuff sneak through her smelly doors. Some are silent...and definitely deadly. Some are loud and scare her...as if it were an out-of-body experience and her lower half of her body was not connected to her at all. The old lady literally will let one loose and jump up, smell her own rear, and wonder what the heck just happened. Anyhoo..because Remi is my shadow, her gas has constantly stalked me today. Farts are usually funny in this household...but today, it's a bit nauseating.