Haiku of a Stay-at-Home Parent

Haiku of a Stay-at-Home Parent
by Me

Sometimes there are days,

Calgon please take me away.

Still, always thankful.

Although I never envisioned myself EVER being a stay-at-home parent, I think it's one of those blessings in disguise. I always grew up thinking "I'm always going to work. I will be independent. I won't live off of my husband." Well, I still am working...although not outside the home. I am independent still and have a bunch of individuals who are very dependent on me now. I am definitely not living off of my husband. Through fortunate and unfortunate events, I had enough finances (my awesome mom started bank accounts for us when we were young and invested our money wisely) accumulated that paid for the down payment on our second home (and paid for our wedding and various other things).

I still wondered how I would've balanced career and parenthood. I'm one of those kinds of people that, when working, put A LOT of time and energy into work. I used to make work a was a luxury that I could afford to do since I didn't have kids. It felt really good to earn my own income and work hard for it. One day, it'd be nice to work outside again. Right now, I'm aiming for graduate degree and then see what the future holds. It'll definitely be nice to have the grad degree in hand as a fallback or in case of any unforseeable circumstances which would necessitate my need to work. I'd even be happy to just have that degree in hand and stay at home until my kids didn't need me.

I also think about when I was in grad school & pregos with Jaron. Kaia had just turned one and I had an assistantship with the Multicultural Student Services office. Sean, luckily, was on shore tour by then...allowing him to have a bit more flexibility with his hours. Obviously we needed to put her into some kind of childcare program. We opted for the
Goddard School which was amazing. But, going from a not-wanting-to-stay-at-home-parent-ever to being a stay-at-home parent to grad student parent was hard. I spent less than 1.5 hours with Kaia in the morning, dropped her off at school, go to work, go to class, and then come home in time to kiss her goodnight. Sean would pick her up, play with her, fix her dinner (or rather, reheat whatever I had cooked), bathe her, get her ready for bed, read to her, and then wait for me to get home to tuck her in. That was a hard time for me and balancing those feelings of guilt and wanting/needing to do something for me (also for our fam since we need that fallback option). It wasn't w/o it's outside drama too. One mom told me that she stayed home with her boys to be a good mom and also didn't trust our judgement that we were putting Kaia into a reputable childcare program...funny since I am the QUEEN of research...especially when it comes to my family(not to mention one of the boys said he distinctly remembers being in daycare WITH his brother IN a SINK...yes, chilling out IN THE SINK). Yeah, whatever...I know other people were happy that I was going to grad school since some also didn't envision me being a young mother (neither did I..but on the flip side, that same 'stay-at-home' mom had told me I was getting too old to have kids before we conceived Kaia...I was the ripe old age of 24) OR one that stayed at home. So, yeah....anyway.

Anyway...despite all the frustrations, mediations, various methods of discipline, etc. I don't think I'd trade this life for anything. In a month, Kaia turns 5 years old. That's one apartment, one townhouse, and two homes in three states that's she's lived in her short life. I don't know how time has managed to fly by this quickly. I love my kids and think they are so amazing. They've DEFINITELY challenged my notion of my previous misconception of stay-at-home parents. That's not to say that I didn't have completely AMAZING examples grandmothers, Aunt Maury, Aunt Karina, Mama Yuan, Jaimee, Liza, etc....all whose hardwork and dedication raised amazing, intelligent individuals. I also applaud the moms working outside the home too who also provided great examples of strong women who either worked out of neccessity or mom, my aunts (my mom's sisters & in-laws), etc. I still don't know how I would pump out homecooked dinners in time to feed a hungry family w/o the gourmet-ness of them suffering. I think it's amazing how all these women balance home, work (inside and outside), marriage, friendships, everything...always putting others' needs in front of their own.

In the next few months, we'll find out what the Navy has in store for our family. If we end up back in the Hampton Roads, VA area...then I make seek out a job with my former graduate assistantship. If we're in DC, I'll try grad school. If we stay down here, then...I'll be upping my game as a stay-at-home parent...or possibly some diversity work at the corporate level. Sometimes I feel like I'm letting down my kids w/o them knowing it and strive to be a better mom. I don't know if that's the guilt that us Lee girls always feel with everything or what. But, as I sit here on the computer typing, I know there's something else I could be doing. True, being a "single" stay-at-home parent I do need that time to myself to keep my sanity but yeah, I always feel guilty. With that...signing off!


Jason Taylor

OK, so DC is so lucky to be acquiring this heavenly body of yumminess. Both Sean and I think he's yummy...ok, so maybe Sean doesn't think he's yummy but I sure do. He does agree that he's a good lookin' man. hunny has come so far since we first met. ;o)


Because I'm a Woman of Leisure

HAHAHAHAHAHA...schyeah rioght!!! I'm not all over the place in this blog, I've started my food blog. I'll cheat and make my first post, my gaucamole post. Yeah, baby! food blog is here.



This is my puppy Jax. He just turned 2 this past May, which makes him more of a toddler now. ;o) Hopefully, if anyone were to try something funny with us or our house, he would be known as "Oh Sh*t!" Seriously, if it weren't for Jax, I'd be paralyzed with fear right now. But this 100 lb. beast means bidness. And what?!?!

Jax completed his obedience and protection training with Carrie Silva & Ivan Balabanov of The Doghouse LLC in Plant City, FL. When we move from this area and if we ever need a dog or ever need to train him/her, you better bet I'd send him/her back down to Carrie & Ivan. They are the shiznitz!! They also breed world class Belgian Malinois and I found this on one of their pages! =)

Anyhoo...yeah. I love my big puppy (Jaron's nickname for him) and still love my old lady Remi too (or "Little Puppy" as Jaron refers to her too). My kids love 'em too...the most important part of all!


Gonna Open a Can of....

Yup. So, this article was published about what happened in our neighborhood. Nice to know that it literally happened in my backyard...literally. of the other moms is an attorney and we're (at least the two of us) are planning on heading over to the clubhouse and talking to the director about this nonsense of trying to keep things on the DL. Kinda like storming the administration building at UMD but at a country club...hahahahaha.

This is abso-freaking ridiculous.



How the fart are you going to keep quiet about an attempted abduction in your neighborhood when you could be warning other parents to stay vigilant with their kids??? I just dropped by and talked to the gate guard on the way in and he was shocked that I had heard about it. He's not supposed to comment on the situation and was surprised that I knew. WTF? He said that he and the Nassau County Sheriff's Dept. are working hard to get these guys (apparently it was two guys) and increasing patrol of our neighborhood. BUT...everything was supposed to be on the DL. The gate guard is frikkin' useless since our gatehouse/guard is more for prestige than for security. Plus, the gatehouse is only occupied during certain hours...something those predators obviously already know.

Again, WTF?!?!?!

If I hadn't heard about it from my friend in the development across the road, I wouldn't have remembered about that shady arse pickup truck two weeks ago (to the day) driving down my street and, now I realize, scoping out my children! My arse alerted other parents in the neighborhood and hopefully they'll be extra careful with their kids...esp. older ones they might have previously felt it was safe to let them venture out by themselves. I understand not wanting to cause a panic, but really...that's something you should give parents a heads up on.


Am I overreacting??