I. Suck.

First off...Happy Holidays!

Second....I. Suck.

Yesterday...oops, check that since it is already passed midnight now...the day BEFORE yesterday we take our beloved puppies in to get bathed. They came back several different shades lighter than when we took them in. They were THAT dirty. Anyhoo...we let our old lady sleep in our room for once and guess what...I got very little sleep. My poor baby Remi snores like my grandfather who, unfortunately, you can hear snoring even if you stood outside the house. He is THAT loud...and so is my girl. Add a sick hubby to the mix who is adding his own acoustics of snoring and throat-clearing in his sleep...and it's a veritable orchestra in our room...one that has vaulted ceilings so the sounds are just echoing everywhere.

I actually needed a bit of rest for once. I had to gear up for today...whoops...yesterday since Sean was going to stand duty and I had a butt-load of baking to do...not to mention all the gazillion loads of laundry and packing for the next 10 days for the fam. All needing to be done and ready to go by the time my wonderful hubby arrives in the morning so we can get on the road to The Fam ASAP. Oh yeah...did I mention gifts?

No, I did not. Why should I? The forward-thinking type A individual I am has devised the perfect plan the past few years of ordering my gifts and shipping them to my mom's house...where I stay up real late and wrap to my heart's content. I *heart* you Amazon Prime.

So...the kids were pretty good, baking was smooth sailing, laundry was smooth sailing, and I still was a pretty good single parent today. It was precisely at 1953...or 7:53pm for you civilians that my life...ok, less drama...my DAY took a turn for the worse. The doorbell rings. WTF? Really? Almost 8pm. I peek outside and there is a figure dressed in dark clothes standing at the end of my driveway. Crap. Really? Ok...my two crazy but CLEAN dogs are with me at the doorway. I see a box in front of my door, a truck circling around our cul-de-sac, and quickly surmise that this dude standing at the end of my driveway is a UPS dude.

What? Almost everyone knows we're going to be in DC...not here. It is addressed to me.

Hmmmmmm....

Oh...well what do you know? It's a portion of the huge order I put in on Tuesday...the order that was the most stressful since I needed to make sure that all and everyone were accounted for since with my Wednesday being insanely hellish...I wasn't about to add shopping to my list. No siree Bob...I don't think so.

Funny...why are these gifts being sent here and not to my mom's?

Oh yeah...because I'm an idiot.

In my stress-induced haze of procrastination, being sole-planner/caretaker of this fam, and again...sole planner...I neglected to double-check my order and see that I sent it to myself at my MOM'S address and not MINE.

Why? Because I suck.

So, no instead of getting on the road ASAP in the morning...we now will have to wait for this damn package to arrive...hopefully not close to 8pm like tonight..oops...LAST NIGHT. What's more...UPS actually was supposed to deliver it TODAY...crap...YESTERDAY but had to reschedule it to tomorrow...oops, TODAY (12/24).

I hate me. I really, really hate me right now.

Somehow moving my whole family up halfway up the East Coast by myself during the holidays...even managing to make HOMEMADE presents during a move and while my hubby was out to sea seemed a LOT less stressful.

However...a glimmer of positivity in all this mess...besides the 4 cakes and 3 different types of cookies I made in one day...I did manage to take holiday photos for a holiday card that will not make it out again...keeping up with the yearly tradition I have upheld since we last left here in 2006. So, after moves to CT and FL and now back here...at least I kept up with the tradition of taking the freakin' photo. Except...we couldn't take it in front of our lake since with all the rain we've been having it's a bit soggy back there...not to mention the dog poop that we still have yet to pick up!

I managed to screw up this year's photo by looking a little plasticky...so, enjoy one of the outtakes where I don't have a crazy fake smile on my face!

Oh yeah...like my Amazon order, I'm not rechecking this...so I look forward to my hubby pointing out all of my typos and grammatical errors! ;o)

Happy Holidays, Everyone! Please stay safe and enjoy the time you have with your loved ones this season. We're so thankful that we actually get to spend the holidays together and it makes all these petty problems just that...petty and insignificant.

Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanza, & Happy Hanukkah!

We're coming, Talia...as soon as the Man in Brown (or Men in Brown...and def men since it's only males who do our route so far) comes...we're coming.

Lazy.

I'm too lazy...but uber-proud of my daughter...

So...check out our family blog.

My. Ovaries. Hurt.

My ovaries hurt. They do. They have that certain achiness whenever I think how big my kids have gotten and how little my niece is. I long for those moments of holding a baby and smelling their sweet scent. I miss being pregnant and not having to worry about muffin top or sucking my stomach in. I. Miss. Boobs. Yes, after breastfeeding both kids for a cumulative 24 months...they managed to perform a successful lipo...in my boobs. I barely had any to begin with and I was secure with that. But now...nada. What you see is 100% Victoria's Secret.

Then again, I don't miss sleeping for 2-3 hour stints. Scratch that...with Kaia, it was 30 MINUTE stints. My darling daughter, to this day, still does not sleep very long NOR does she need a lot of sleep to function....and not get grouchy. She's very much like me. I don't miss diaper changes, rigid schedules, and constant feedings.

What I'd miss is being able to really spend quality time with my kids right now. They are so much fun and I cannot even begin to fathom adding another to the mix and being a complete mommy to them. Then again, Jaron starts school next year and then I'd feel like "what is the use of being at home?" Except for the fact that VA kindergarten is only freakin' 3 hours from the time he gets on the bus to the time he gets off the bus.

Then again, I look how nurturing my kids are with their baby cousin. They love her so much and call her their baby sister...not out of want for another sibling, but because they look at her as if she were their sister. I know my kids would be thrilled with another sibling...especially when the topic comes up regularly and they ask for twins. A boy and a girl. Order up!

I think it's just the type of person I am. I totally stress out because I think of every single possibility and outcome of my actions...upcoming moves, upcoming deployments/patrols/underways, planning large events, which schools to pick, what activities we'll do, etc. etc. etc. And you know what...they're always turned out fine and I have always been able to handle them.

Do I want to upset the balance of 2s in our life? 2 of us, 2 kids, 2 dogs, 2 vehicles, 2 houses...

I stress because I feel that time is ticking and the kids are getting older and the age gap between them and a 3rd gets bigger by the day. I mourn the loss of my kids as I think of both of them going off to college...one after the other. Yes, I DO think that far ahead. I long for a 3rd...but I love being able to be a "full-time" aunt to Talia. But, I think we're not complete without a third...which is weird since I never wanted an odd amount of children...but 4 of definitely a big fat NO...heeeellllllll no. Then watch, we'll have a third and I'll long for a playmate close to his/her age. Hahaha.

But it's weird...I long for a third. I miss being a mommy to an infant. Being the granddaughter of a woman who had 9 children...I'm going to keep my Mirena up until the last second...we are pretty blessed to be able to think about getting pregnant and *poof* we're knocked up.

Ahhhhh...this battle in my head continues. Until then...my itch will be satisfied whenever we are with The Fam and I get to be with my favorite spiky-headed, mohawked little niece!

From I'm not sure what I want to be when I grow up...

From I'm not sure what I want to be when I grow up...

Breeeeeeathe

I somehow turn off my alarm this morning and neglect to set a backup...thereby waking up at 7:23am...23 minutes later than the absolute latest I should be waking up...esp. today of all days!! Luckily, K-bear was already reading in her room...so I didn't have to spend 10 minutes getting her cute little booty up. After picking out outfits, I then go down and have to figure out breakfast...and really quick nutritious breakfast!!!

Plus, this is the morning I have to make cookies and prepare a meal for the JO's fam that is moving to VT tomorrow...and I'm so anal about my cooking.

Kaia's now on the schoolbus & cookies are in the oven....time to start on lunch.

Steaks are marinated, cookies are DONE. Grill is started and I finally let the dogs out. Dogs are in and wiped down of mud. Grill is OFF...yes, OFF. Either it is no longer working or the propane is out. I dunno...now I have 4 steaks I have to pan-fry...yuck and booooooooooooo. This is bordering on being a terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad day....but it's so petty compared to what others are experiencing...like real problems. Anyway...back to being anal about cooking...now I'm pissed since when the Type-A in me wants a specific flavor...I. Want. That. Flavor. Now this family will have to get a sub-par meal. ARGH.

Meal is done, cookies are packed...I shower. Meal is packed, we get lunch @ Chick-fil-A and drop the meal off. It's always sad to see nice people move. Navy lives always allow us to cross paths.

We come home after having a scare that one of the bridges would be up therefore creating the usual traffic mess....luckily, it's not up!! We get home, I poop, and Jaron is read to & put down for a nap.

I decide to be a good daughter for once and actually talk to my mother...because 1) I actually have enough time and quiet to be able to think and have enough patience for her & 2) I should be a better daughter & 3) I would have enough patience. My mom really is great though...she's a really, really wonderful mom. But, both sides are getting slightly annoyed over the conversation of a gym membership. My mom thinks it's a year but like Jan-Dec type of year and I explain that the contract should be good for a year from when you sign. She ends with wanting to call the gym. Good...that's good anyway...since there is a slight chance I might be wrong. Yes, you like how I said SLIGHT? This is what my husband has to put up with. Anyway...a slight argument over gym memberships and more annoyance on my part since my sister & I wanted to get her a membership for Xmas (her old one expired a while ago).

Argh.

2:35pm.

Let the rest of this day go smoother. Hahahaha. 40 minutes till K gets home and hopefully her & Jaron will have a better day. I figured I need to get tougher with them when we're on the phone and they feel like they don't have to use manners and/or listen to any rules we set forth immediately prior to the phone call or established rules. Hahahaha...at least they got a lot of sleep last night!!

Ok...thank you. I feel better now!

Hump day...hubby comes home day after tomorrow...and then goes right into work the next morning...on Saturday.

I complain...but really, it's really so trivial compared to what's going on to so many around me. It's definitely more laughable than anything.